Memorandum

To: All Men

Subject: Where Have the Good Men Gone?

Fellow Males,

A rebuke has come to my attention that demands action, namely, a shame-driven tearing out of beard hairs and retreating to dark man hovels for the nursing of wounds. Or maybe we can take it like we should have in the first place—like Men.

Then again, we no longer seem to know how to do so.

I do not presume to include all males as responsible for this printed Face-Slap; however, based on personal and chagrined observation, I believe Ms. Hymowitz’s concerns are well-founded and correct.

Yes, women may be able to chant the Equality and Independence mantra standing on their heads—how many women have scorned the held door, and thereby Hurt Our Feelings? But I ask you, brothers, does this excuse our actions (or, rather, inactions)? Should we not rather rise to the occasion and, like water on the proverbial duck, let feminist rain roll off the gentleman’s back? Or should we sulk and slink back to our post-adolescent sandboxes?

I urge your immediate consideration of this matter, and remain

Yours, &c.,

Joe Post